


spideypool porn

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Porn, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Deadpool becomes aware that he's in a smut fic with Spider-Man, resists and battles with the author</p>
            </blockquote>





	spideypool porn

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [贱虫小黄文【并不！](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6066310) by [bukeaijun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bukeaijun/pseuds/bukeaijun)



Peter discards the last piece of his clothing and bites his lips, blushing and looking at Wade from under his eyelashes. He reaches out a tentative hand, unsure if he is allowed to touch.

_What the-_

Wade nods encouragingly taking a small hesitant step toward Peter.

**Doing what now?**

_What the fuck is going on here?_

Peter smiles blindingly and closes the distance between them, reaching for the hem of Wade’s mask.

“Whoa there! What the hell are you doing, Spidey?”

Peter looks confused and nervous. “What? I thought. Wade, come on, what got into you? Don’t you… don’t you want me?”

Wade, completely  _ashamed_  by his completely  _unreasonable_  reaction, takes off his mask himself, set on quickly making his  _completely_  dense behavior up to Peter. With  _sex_.

**WHAT?!**

_Are we in a porno? I think we’re in a porno. With Spider-Man._

**I told you we shouldn’t eat strange food because it gives us strange dreams.**

Wade starts stripping off his costume as Peter lays down on the bed, shy and nervous, but already thrumming with anticipation.

“Whoa, no way. Na-ah. I’m not gonna lie, Spidey, you’re a fine piece of ass that I would love to get acquainted with but I just don’t like you that way. Hm, that lie sounds familiar… Hands,  _stop it_! We’re not taking our clothes off!”

Peter ignores Wade’s irrational rambling, ascribing it to nervousness that he finds endearing. He spreads out on the bed and slides his hand down his naked chest and moans. “Come on Wade, take me! Take me now! Please! I need you!”

_I don’t think it’s a dream. Spider-Man featuring our dreams tends to be a little… i don’t know… more in character…_

**This is so wrong. I’ve seen this somewhere. I know this drill. Some crazy chick is actually writing this shit!**

“I’m not doing this. Look, lady, whatever it is you’re thinking, I’m not gonna just take off my clothes and fuck Spider-Man.”

Wade gulps and almost falls over, trying to get rid of his own clothes as fast as he can.

“HOW THE FUCK AM I NAKED?”

**Damn she’s good.**

_A worthy adversary._

Wade slowly approaches the bed and Peter blushes and his breath hitches. He mewls and moans and sighs.

“I didn’t even touch him, what the actual fuck.”

Peter grabs the back of Wade’s head and pulls him down on top of him, crashing their mouths together. And moans.

**This is embarrassing…**

Wade opens Peter’s mouth with his tongue and licks into his mouth, tasting his lover.

“You did not just use the L wo-ngghhgfnd!”

Wade grinds their hips together and Peter cries out in pleasure. Wade drinks up the heavenly sound. Peter clutches at Wade’s shoulders and pushes his own hips up to meet Wade’s, his breath coming in short delicious puffs.

_It’s like she has a list of the most commonly used cliché phrases to ever cliché among all phrases._

“Oh. Oh, hm, this is kind of nice. Can you make him scratch my back a little?”

Peter scratches Wade’s back, lost in passion. Conveniently deafened to Wade’s senseless ramblings by desire, he chants his name like a prayer.

“And cut down on the poetics a bit? You’re embarrassing us all, really.”

Wade is ruDE SO HE COMES PREMATURELY AND WHO’S EMBARRASSING  _NOW_.

THE END. FUCK THIS SHIT.


End file.
